My Testimony

How God transformed my life...

When I was little, my family went to church until I was about 4. I briefly remember going to Sunday school or dressing up for Christmas and Easter. But I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. I didn’t know who Jesus was or what He had done for me, and the only time I remember hearing His name was when I used it as a curse word in the world or no TV.

At 12, I began exploring the spiritual realm through Ouija boards and didn’t realize I was openly inviting spirits into my life. Unaware, I was welcoming darkness to consume me. Around the same time, depression and suicidal thoughts took root. I was 12 years old and wondering if I even belonged on this earth.

As my mom's health declined, as well as my mental health, I fell apart. I feared losing her and began cursing a God I didn’t even believe in. If He were real, how could He let this happen? By 13, I attempted suicide for the first time. And although I continued trying to end my life, God never let me go. I didn’t see it then, but His grace wrapped around me, even in my rebellion.

In high school, I desperately searched for healing. I put my hope in therapy, drugs, alcohol, medication, and new age spirituality, believing they could give me the control and peace I had been yearning for. But it was never enough. In fact, the deeper I went, the emptier and darker I felt.

By the time I moved out of state for college, I thought I had finally manifested the life I dreamed of. But when my three-year relationship ended, everything unraveled. I lost all sense of identity and turned back to drugs, alcohol, and hookups to numb the pain. I started skipping classes and self-destructing. My depression deepened, and the thoughts of suicide echoed through my head relentlessly. I eventually spiraled into a manic episode and fell into paranoia and psychosis. I heard and saw demons. I was being tormented from the inside out.

Then something miraculous happened.

Before being hospitalized, my dad—prompted by God—took me to the Holy Family Shrine. It was the first place where I learned who Jesus is and what He could do. I felt something there I’d never felt before: safety, peace, and love. God was there, even though I didn’t know Him yet.

In the hospital, I hit rock bottom. But it was on that rock that I met Jesus Christ.

One day, I turned on the shower, laid down, and groaned out to whoever was listening to let that be my last night on Earth. I had written my goodbyes and prayed that it would be the end. But just as I closed my eyes, I heard a voice I’d never heard before:
"Jesus died so you could live."

In that moment, I was changed. My eyes opened. I wasn’t dead. I was alive—and for the first time, I knew who had saved me.

I came out of that hospital with a hunger to know the One who spoke to me. The first thing I asked for was a Bible. As I began reading, Jesus introduced Himself to me. The lies I believed started to fall away. I began to see that my past wasn’t too broken for God. My pain didn’t disqualify me. He used it to draw me to Himself.

Jesus didn’t just save me, He made me a new creation.

Through Him, I’ve found true peace, love, and purpose. I am no longer chasing healing; I have found the Healer. My identity isn’t in drugs or performance, it’s in Christ. I’ve been forgiven, redeemed, and called His child.

I now live for the One who gave everything for me. I walk daily with Jesus, and I want to reflect the love, mercy, and truth He poured into my life. His grace didn’t just patch me up; it gave me new life.

As Galatians 2:20 says:
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Thank you for reading. If my testimony touches even one person and shows them the power and character of God, then it is worth it.